You Are A Tourist

This. Fire. Grows. Higher.

Death Cab For Cutie has been swirling around in my head for several weeks with their release “You Are A Tourist” from their latest album, “Codes and Keys”. The lyrics of the song summarize how I’ve felt for the past many months if not the last couple years.

When there’s a burning in your heart
An endless fury in your heart
Build it bigger than the Sun
Let it grow
Let it grow
And there’s a burning in your heart
Don’t be alarmed

The burning in my heart started with a discontentment for the Great Dream and in my exit out of work as usual, I have found that I still long for something more from life. More than I could conjure up in my mind. There is a longing deep in my soul for what seems intangible and absurd. Who really gets to live out their real dreams in real time? I’m not talking about waiting until you’ve saved enough money for retirement or striking it rich with the Lotto. I mean being lofty in goals and aspirations; absurdly bold in believing that if I’m not living out what I’m most passionate about, I am doing a disservice to the world. Who actually takes the chance on living this way?

When there’s a doubt in your mind
‘Cos you think it all the time
Framin’ rights into wrongs
Move along
Move along
When there’s a doubt in your mind

When there’s a burning in your heart
And you think it’ll burst apart
Oh there’s nothing to fear
Save the tears, save the tears
When there’s a burning in your heart

It is truly the doubts and fears which hold us back. Perhaps in actuality the absurdity lies in the amount of times in which I’ve expressed a dream and the internal response is usually a reason why I should live that way now before I have any hindrances (children in particular) or a very practical reason why I should wait (economy, mortgage, etc). We are all trapped in mindsets that tell us why we can not live. We deal with the aching in our hearts by stuffing and stifling; writing the hope off as a pipe dream and thus killing our souls.

And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born
Then, it’s time to go
And you find your destination with so many different places to call home

Yes. I feel this way quite often.

Cos’ when you find yourself a villain,
In the story you have written
It’s plain to see
That sometimes the best intentions
Are in need of redemption
Would you agree
If so, please show me

When I look around, I see the beauty in the people I love, the places I’ve lived, the memories I hold dear. But I’ve always dreamed big… bigger than many of those around me and I’ve found myself in circumstantial doldrums over the years. I have needed my original intentions of  living on faith, seeing the world and  changing peoples lives redeemed.

When the world (or my momentary weak will) says, “you can not,” I will live in the place of ‘why not?’ You’re right, the world doesn’t need more dreamers; the world needs more people willing to risk it all to live out the burning in their hearts.

This. Fire. Grows. Higher.

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One Response to You Are A Tourist

  1. Christy says:

    Jenny, I love your writing. 🙂 Thanks.

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